The Buffy

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My life is pretty dull. I play with a toddler, watch a lot of Yo Gabba Gabba and experiment with the crock pot. I have no bed time and I find humor in Laffy Taffy jokes. Conan O'Brien is my anti-drug.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

The post in which I am honest with myself and you

January 19th loomed near, and then it passed. I didn't update about my weight or my body or my health.
You know why?

There wasn't any update. I didn't gain, but I also didn't lose. I didn't feel any stronger or weaker. I didn't have any new measurements to add. I didn't feel much of anything, and I'm pretty sure I know the reason why:
I was treating my body to (and like) crap. I've been consuming more calories, yes. But I've been more so consuming empty or junk calories. I've been substituting my water consumption with candy here and there. Or coffee. So much coffee. And soda. Diet soda is still soda, folks.
More alcohol. Unfortunately alcohol calories are not non-existent calories.

I've been avoiding the gym more. I have all the excuses in the world why I can't go, and I'm often far too "tired" or "busy" to head downstairs to the basement for my own little homemade gym. I've got so much of the equipment I need to get myself stronger and faster and healthier and instead I choose to be upstairs. Away from it.

It's February 1st today - a new month, yes. 55 days from my 33rd birthday. Another day closer to a day older. Why not today? Why not right now?
Please, don't wait until next Monday. Don't wait until after the Super Bowl to make lifestyle changes. Don't wait until March 1st or May 1st or June 15th to change your  life. I want to be better and more energetic and more enthusiastic for my kids. I want to be sexier and healthier and stronger for my husband. I want to be all those things and more for myself. I want everyone reading this to do the same. Consider your family. Consider the example you are setting for your kids. Consider yourself. Be kinder to yourself.

I'm not selling a thing. I don't promote a product. I'm not trying to make a profit. I'm tired of SO MANY FRIENDS telling me how worried they are about me. When I was heavier, one of my best friends drunkenly told me she was scared for me. I wasn't drunk at the time. I was very much aware of her statements and comments and they burned my soul. Now that I'm thinner people tell me they worry about me and that I'm obsessing too much with my body.

I'm telling you now, I'm not obsessing too much. I'm caring for myself, something I should have genuinely started and not just pretended to do a long, long time ago.

3 comments:

  1. Good for you. Wonderfully written and inspirational.
    I love you Martha

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  2. You are a true beauty inside and out. I adore you no matter how your clothes fit... lights like you shine even if you don't "start on Monday!" Keep being the YOU, that only YOU can be, sweet girl!

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  3. I have long struggled with trying to get healthier through setting 30 day or however long amount of time "challenges" for myself, or trying to track things with measurements and numbers and what clothes I can fit into. It never worked. Finally I have found a method that helps and doesn't make me feel like crap. Every day I wake up thinking "I will be good to myself today" and have a small list of goals (either in mind or on paper) that will make me feel good - usually it is things like "no alcohol" (I have to designate certain nights in the week otherwise I will end up drinking all the time out of habit...) "yoga", mentally planning how I will get my greens in, being mindful of my afternoon sugar cravings and eating some raw honey or prunes to curb it, doing some small but productive task I can cross off my list, or spending time with friends, etc. So about half of them are physical health related and the others are mental health related so I get enough time for myself and have something to feel accomplished about.
    I also have realized what I have control over is putting good things into my body and getting enough physical activity... I have no control over how much weight my body decides to lose or if I'm bloated on a given day so try to ignore those things!

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