So many adventures. So few times.

My photo
My life is pretty dull. I play with a toddler, watch a lot of Yo Gabba Gabba and experiment with the crock pot. I have no bed time and I find humor in Laffy Taffy jokes. Conan O'Brien is my anti-drug.

Monday, October 26, 2015

AdoramaPix - Christmas gift idea? I think yes.

This is a sponsored post – I cannot wait to get to check out AdoramaPix myself and let you guys know how it turns out!
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You can find all the fun gift ideas HERE:

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Sunday, October 18, 2015

Bedtime brain train

I have to pee before bed, every night. So as I'm sitting there I look down at the Under Armor running shorts I sleep in whenever I randomly grab them, and realize I had them on backwards.

Then I spot that they were made in Malaysia. Immediately, "Keel the Malaysian prime meenasterrrr!" plays loudly in my head. Thanks Zoolander for eternally ruining an entire country for me forever. 

Then I think about the Malaysian flight that went missing a year ago. Did they ever find anything from it? I remember flipping through various news stations and seeing the afternoon guy who may be wearing mascara on Fox News stand in front of a giant ticker of how many days and hours the plane had been missing. I also know a while back they thought they found a part of a wing near Australia but I don't remember the outcome.

And I could google this information far more quickly than I could type it out, but where is the fun in that?! 
Instead, I'll hit 'publish' and close my phone and drift off and probably forget to  look up the outcome in the morning. 

And that's why I pee one last time before drifting off - so I can figure out why my navy UA shorts don't quite feel comfortable.

Coughing and Kegals and Spending some money

So I'm sitting here watching Jupiter Ascending, half asleep. I've had what can only be described as a craptastic week with some lovely highlights but mostly a lot of lowlights, but that's okay. So a big lowlight is that I have this cough that won't go away, and now is my warning: we're getting personal, I keep pissing myself. Ladies, if you're yet to get pregnant or you are newly pregnant with your first baby or even if you never have kids or you already gave birth to ten monsters, do your damned kegel exercises. The ones your gyno tells you about. Seriously. Because two kids later I've peed my pants while coughing no less than three times today, and I'm sick of being sick and I'm sick of kids getting sick and, damnit, I'm sick of peeing my pants. So do your kegels. Take it from someone (potentially) older and (most definitely not) wiser. 

A friend just gave me a tip. Gap has undies online 5 for $27, but you can use the 40% off code and get said undies for a danged steal. So I'm going to take my pants-peeing, half asleep, Jupiter Ascending butt over to and buy myself some new briefs because, good Lord, I have earned them. 

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Fireworks and Halloween and Weight Loss and Life

I haven't written since June. JUNE. Seriously?! Absurd. It's October.
Quick update - Kids are good. Well, they were good. As of a few minutes ago Tommy has a bitchin' fever and Emma is post-school whiny. I'm trying to decide between obligatory naps for the fournager or a giant mimosa and/or screwdriver for myself.

Only, calories. I'm counting calories like a fool along with the husband, and getting great results. He's been a rockstar on the weight loss game. He's walking on the treadmill every night for an hour to 90 minutes, counting the cals, tracking his protein, reducing his carbs - seriously, it's inspiring. I'm playing along too with the calories and the workouts but I'm really focusing on strength. Mama wants guns, folks! Since we started this madness I'm down about 5 pounds but I'm mega down on inches, and my muscles are starting to pop!

Halloween is rapidly approaching, so I'm making Emma's costume from scratch this year. Of course, only my kid would want some obscure cartoon character that no costume exists for. So I say scratch because no pattern, no direction, no blog to follow along with. I'm making it up as I go, and it's turning out pretty awesome.
Tommy, meanwhile... poor kid. He's getting one of those nylon-blend, over-the-sweatpants costumes that will be pilling by the end of the night. Sucks to be the second kid, eh?

His speech is exploding, and he's in full toddler tantrum mode. He goes from 0 to 1000 in 2 seconds of indirectly asking for something. Or if I take something away from him? (For example: a butcher knife)... Holy crap. Que the fireworks.

Kids are jerks.