So many adventures. So few times.

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My life is pretty dull. I play with a toddler, watch a lot of Yo Gabba Gabba and experiment with the crock pot. I have no bed time and I find humor in Laffy Taffy jokes. Conan O'Brien is my anti-drug.

Thursday, February 1, 2018

GIVEAWAY ALERT - Goals, Kitchfix and 4 years of jerk

HI FRIEND! It's time to celebrate.
I woke up last weekend feeling like microwaved asshole, and it was a spiral downward really quick. I know, I know. 934 people would have helped with the rottens over the weekend as my husband was adios for a trade show, but I didn't want to show weakness. Because, ya know, being a physically and emotionally unavailable mom a floor away from my young offspring was WAY better. I think the peak of horrible was when my kids would fight from downstairs, and I would muster all my energy to croak at them to stop fighting before breaking into sobs. I wasn't sad. I was just that farking weak.

I think the real butt punch was just prior, I hit a weight goal AND I moved out of size large to size medium running pants from Gap (my fave gym clothes ever, in case anyone ever wants to get me a gift card wink wink nudge nudge because a certain human female maybeeee just bought a ridiculous number of pants on clearance not that long ago and now they keep falling off despite the internal drawstring. Dammit). Honestly - the light bulb moment for me was eating, ya know, less. Not a ton less. Not depriving myself. Not only eating air or only eating a strict diet of animal lard and sunshine, but... just less. Like, less calories. Ya know, science.  Smaller servings. And crazy, eating fruits and vegetables and lean proteins actually fill you up. AKA, everything we've ever been told by healthy people but like to ignore.

Today has been all about getting back to it. Back to the gym, back to getting a (note: VERY) few things done around the house, back to writing. I would have done a few of these fun things yesterday, but it was the Moose's 4th birthday! I can't believe guy is 4.
I know.
Every jackass mom who has ever raised a child from the age of <fill in the blank> to <fill in the blank> ever says the same thing. "OMG! I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S ALREADY 3!!1! SOON HE'LL BE IN COLLEGE! SOB!"

I'm a bit basic. Whatever.

ANYWAY! Back to the food. New discovery alert! Coming in at 170 calories per 28 filling grams, 14 grams of fat and 8 grams net carbs with 5 grams of protein, meet Kitchfix Grain-Free Granola. It's my new personal Tabasco - I put this shit on everything. It's Paleo. It's 'clean'. It's Keto-compatible. It's normal-person-like-me YUMMY.

So kiddos, while you're getting familiar with the OG grain-free granola, you should take a moment to introduce yo'self to Kitchfix Honey Pecan Grain-Free Granola. Ya know, basically a yummy remix of an already yummy thing.

FOR TOMMY'S BIRTHDAY! We're (JK. I'm doing this. He's a jerk who has never willingly given anything to anyone, ever, minus pooping in his pants for the first time in several months earlier today **just for me**) giving away a bag of the Honey Pecan Grain-Free Granola! To enter, go below to the Rafflecopter widget below and do your thing. Once you've liked my Facebook page, just type out 'done' and submit. Woot!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Not working? Clicky here

Now excuse me while I quite literally hide behind the dining room table on the floor to hurry and eat this. Kid wants (and WILL STEAL) anything I have. Ever. And then he won't like it even if he did yesterday, and then he will spit it back into the bowl, and then I will sob and open one or two or seven of those pretty bottles behind me and then that will not be conducive to me feeling better from this stupid ass illness.

The kid JUST found me eating. No joke.

Strategically scattered mess. I'm fancy, kids. So fancy.

1 comment:

  1. Love your real life moments ;). And, I'll totally buy your larges because im just behind you!